Our Chrysalis

I am sorry for not writing to update you all.  I have been so busy caring for Calli 's needs, and we have been waiting for pathology.  We are so thankful for the healthy meals, card and encouragement. 

We were told on Thursday evening, after a post-op MRI of her spine, that they had found more tumors, small ones, but not so great to hear.  Calli is doing better though post-op.  During surgery she lost sensory nerves in her left leg...so she can move and wiggle toes, and "walk" but cannot feel herself doing so.  However, each day has been so much more improvement from the last.  Today, she could feel me washing her legs, and she even walked with help from Dad and PT across the floor twice!  I must say that, it is pure Joy for me to be taking care of my daughter. 

So, last night Calli had a brain MRI, to see if there were any tumors in there, and this morning, we got a wonderful report and rejoiced that it is clear! The doctor came in last night with a social worker, and pulled Mike & me out of the room....She told us that Calli has Stage 4 Terminal Cancer. The specific name is:

Glioblastoma Multiform, it presents in more than just tumor form and they said that it has spread the entire length of her spine.  The doctor literally told us that it would "Take a miracle of God, for her to live."

God's report is different though- and I will chose to believe the report of the Lord that says the effectual fervent prayers of the righteous avail much.  Calli had a dream before surgery, and she saw a lit candle in an old brass candle holder, in the middle of the woods ...a friend came over, picked up the candle and said "It is to be heard and not seen."

So, here we are praying, and thanking God for this trial....it is to be heard and not seen.  What is Lord?  What?  Then I began to think about faith...faith as small as a mustard seed can move a mountain.  Do I really believe that?  Lord, do I?  In my heart I do, in my spirit I do, but my flesh, my thinking, my head, my words get in the way. My words are heard......... I believe the 2 Chronicles 7:14, that says, "Then if my people who are called by my name will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sins and heal their land."

It is not about us being holy enough, or good enough, or deserving enough...it is about humility, and faith.  It is about me admitting like the guy in the bible.."Yes I believe, but Lord, help my unbelief."  I believe that we, rather every single one of you reading this, whether you believe in God, or know God...I believe that a prayer offered in faith, in humily to God...can move mountains, can fully heal my daughter Calli.  I believe that the words heard from your mouth, spoken over her can heal her.  Life and death are in the power of the tongue.

Do you really pray for people when you say you will?  I know that there have been so many times, that I myself, have tried to comfort someone and said "I'll be praying for you,"  and I did not.  I did not fast, I did not take 5 minutes and get on my knees, and humble myself physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually and ask God to forgive me, and ask Him to help, guide, provide or heal someone else.  It is an act of humility, being prostrate before God, bent low before Him...asking God, whom maybe we think is not listening.... or isn't even there...or even cares. 

Did you ever see how small a mustard seed is? Did you ever see a mustard plant?  The seed is tiny, minuscule...but the plant is huge that comes from that small seed.  Do you have a seed in your heart today?  Can you humble yourself, for 5 minutes, get on your knees or lay on your belly physically humbling yourself....confess your unbelief to God, confess your heart to Him, cry out to Him, and then ask God to heal my daughter.  Do you have a mustard seed today?  If not, ask God to increase your faith, admit that you don't have any to Him, ask for a bigger portion....He will give- If you ask.

Wait on the LORD, can you do this today?  Can you take 5 minutes and challenge your flesh.....for a precious innocent child of God, that wants to live?  Can you believe with me today for total healing?  Can you see past the doctor's report and believe the best WITH me today?  Can you speak life and not death over our child?  Can you speak blessings and not cursing over her body? IT will be heard and not seen.  Her healing will be heard and not seen, it will come from your lips.

I humble and fervently am asking you to take 5 minutes, and go beyond your comfort zone, beyond your own faith,and ask God for His, ask God to forgive your unbelief in healing, and pray for Calli to be wholly healed.  A miracle of God, can happen from your lips, from your heart, IF you humble yourself, and confess and pray...only Believe!!!

I want to leave you with the verse that Calli asked me to share with you.  The same friend, who was in her dream, made a card for her today, and it had the following verse on it:

Isaiah 40:30-31

But they who wait on the LORD

      Shall renew their strength;

      They shall mount up with wings like eagles,

      They shall run and not be weary,

      They shall walk and not faint. 40:30-31

With much love,

Lucy