a year of silence....

So many times

In the last year

I have had pages 

pour out from my gut

from my tongue,

from my fingers,

into the air....

I so dearly wanted to capture them 

to remember, to learn from them

I wanted them

so very much

to stay

and teach us all

to remember....

but they were gone.

in the spans of the sky

in the envelopes of time...

they were frozen

STUCK

unable to detach

and appear

here

on this page

for you

so with that...

I now write...again...slowly...easing back

I. Am. Sorry.

People have written, wondering how we are...

my response is always honest...

however not always pleasing...

I read something recently on Pinterest:

"It is none of my business what you think of me."

They say a picture is worth a thousand words...

right now, I do not have many words...

some of you are thinking...

"Wow, finally...no words for Lucy..."

It is none of my business what you think of me...

I am keeping that one pasted to my forehead for a while :)

Here a few pictures...

This is Aidan- my how he has grown....

Mike- being pensive, me being...me

REST

FREEDOM- lost a lot, gave a lot away...

fat lazy babies

Shaya is still looking for Calli...literally LIVES in her room

I miss everything about you...without you...

there will be more pictures

and words

be patient with me..

if you are reading this...

you certainly are a patient person..

Here are 3 videos,

one to challenge you and make you think about

children fighting for their lives each day

one to make you crack up

one to help you understand where Aidan is

Blessings, peace, liberty,love and unity in Jesus name to you

Something for you to watch...please watch it, take time, it is sad, but necessary:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oljTL1iuMmY

This one is to make you laugh....Mike, Aidan and I laughed REALLY hard

And you may not like rap or hip/hop 

but Aidan listened to this song and it really really spoke to him...

so we played it and it spoke to our cores...

about him and his sister...

this may be a song a guy wrote about a girl,

but to Aidan, it is about her

 

here are the lyrics:

Battle Scars

by Lupe Fiasco & Guy Sebastian

These battle scars don’t look like they’re fading
Don’t look like they’re ever going away
They ain’t never gonna change
These battle...

Never let a wound ruin me
But I feel like ruins wooing me
Arrow holes that never close from cupid on a shooting spree
Feeling stupid ’cause I know there ain’t no you and me

But when you’re trying to beat the odds up
Been trying to keep your nods up and you know that you should know
And let her go but the fear of the unknown
Holding another lover strong sends you back into the zone

With no Tom Hanks to bring you home
A lover not a fighter on the front line with a poem
Trying to write yourself a rifle, maybe sharpen up a song
To fight the tanks and drones of you being alone


I wish I never looked, I wish I never touched
I wish that I could stop loving you so much
’Cause I’m the only one that’s trying to keep us together
When all of the signs say that I should forget her

I wish you weren’t the best, the best I ever had
I wish that the good outweighed the bad
’Cause it’ll never be over until you tell me it’s over

These battle scars, don’t look like they’re fading
Don’t look like they’re ever going away
They ain’t never gonna change

These battle scars, don’t look like they’re fading
Don’t look like they’re ever going away
They ain’t never gonna change
These battle…


 just leave then
You shouldn’t have, but you said it
hope you never come back
It shouldn’t have happened, but you let it
Now you’re down on the ground screaming “Medic!”
The only thing that comes is the post-traumatic stresses

Shields, body armors and vests
Don’t properly work, that’s why you’re in a locker full of hurt
The enemy within and all the fires from your friends
The best medicine is to probably just let them win

I wish I couldn’t feel, I wish I couldn’t love
I wish that I could stop ’cause it hurts so much
And I’m the only one that’s trying to keep us together
When all of the signs say that I should forget her

I wish you weren’t the best, the best I ever had
I wish that the good outweighed the bad
’Cause it’ll never be over until you tell me it’s over

These battle scars, don’t look like they’re fading
Don’t look like they’re ever going away
They ain’t never gonna change

These battle scars, don’t look like they’re fading
Don’t look like they’re ever going away
They ain’t never gonna change
These battle…

’Cause you’ve set me on fire
I’ve never felt so alive, yeah

Now hope wounds heal but it never does
That’s because you at war with love

And I’m at the point of breaking
And it’s impossible to shake it

See, you hoped the wound heals but it never does
That’s ’cause you at war with love
Hope it heals but it never does
That’s ’cause you at war with love

These battle scars, don’t look like they’re fading
Don’t look like they’re ever going away
They ain’t never gonna change

These battle scars, don’t look like they’re fading
Don’t look like they’re ever going away
They ain’t never gonna change

Hope the wound heals but it never does
That’s ’cause you at war with love
You at war with love, yeah