Monday, March 4, 2013


I love how the sun says good morning to me each day

Two cool kids...both getting their black belts on June 1
We told Aidan It was too warm to skate......
But he wanted to try anyway.....
He got nice & wet

I think I look like a horse, a unicorn :)

I have a fondness for green olives....I am rather addicted to them

This is Amos...he is king of our bed.  I hate when he lays on the pillows

Aidan has never gotten anything other than 1st place in sparring
He is pretty good at putting hole in walls too....
don't judge a book by its cover...or by its tattoos....

I finally decided to go for it...I took my sketches & he made it permanent
right inner wrist infinity, babies breath, Callahan

Side of left wrist, monarch butterfly, treble clef, fly- the song that was playing when she died.  look it up.  by jonathan david helser, "fly"

I had surgery.  I am fine.  Calli was there in surgery with me.  No Joke.  She came through a door, tall and glowing from the inside- she looked exactly the same but totally different.  her hair was so long, the longest i ever was, and it was beaming with light from within it.  She held my hand as I laid there on the surgery bed, and she was talking to me the whole time, smiling and explaining things to me.  She was talking in a language I understood, but never heard before.  She was so tall & looked ageless..old but young...the essence of wisdom & love & comfort & she just glowed from the inside.  It was her spirit being.  Then,my dad came through the same door, and looked at me and smiled, and said to Calli, "It is time to go back now Calli."  And they both walked through the door.  They did not say goodbye, they just looked at me, smiled and left through the door.  Then I woke up from surgery, I was in shock and shaking & they could not get my temperature.  All I could see was Calli's face...pure I was screaming her name, and I did not understand why I was waking up and not going back to her.  I wanted to go back to that place.  I asked them to put me back asleep, and they tried to calm me down, but I was irrational and just wanted to go be with her again, and look at her....It was not a dream...or a vision.  I know that God allowed her to come see me.  I had been begging him for months to just let me have a glimpse of her face now, of her wholeness, her healed...I have nightmares every night, of her dying over and over is terrible...but now, God gave me a glimpse...and now, when those terrible thoughts and pictures of my child dying come to my mind, I push them away with the reality that I was with Calli's spirit Daddy...he was so whole, and beaming, and smiling and happy.  God is real.  Heaven is real.  We are spirits living in bodies.  When our bodies die, we do not.  We meet Jesus.  But no one, and I mean no one will get to the Father, in heaven, without Jesus as their advocate, their covering.  Calli is in heaven because she loved Jesus and was not ashamed of Hid message, or His cross, and boasted not in her own strength or power, but in Jesus's.  My dad, a wretch, a drug addict most of his life, a prisoner all means and many people's opinions should be in hell...but he is not- why?  He LOVED Jesus, he was never ashamed to speak truth about Jesus, even to his own hurt- he preached the gospel of Jesus Christ and was a fellow sufferer...My dad knew he was the utmost of sinner, but he admitted it, and knew he was destined for hell without Jesus- he begged Jesus to help him, and Jesus did.

I want back to work...and stayed there.  Thank you Jesus for helping me each day to get out bed.
It is rare that we smile, or laugh...Please pray hard for Aidan, and Mike and me.  Our hearts are so raw still, & we need help.  We need a hero to come and save us from all the destruction the enemy has planned and succeeded in...We are surrounded on all sides...each day is a struggle and a trial and we just need a break from the discord.  We are in therapy...a lot of therapy..and it is like chipping away at an ice burg with a toothpick.  Calli asked me to sing this song to her the night before her surgery....Please listen to is our anthem now...


  1. I love the tattoo! I have been 'designing' one myself (using Sharpies) in memory of Christopher.

  2. so hard yet so inspiring to read your posts. LOVE the tattoos... I am planning to get a few myself. It's time I went and did it!! Love to you all. Nona

  3. I went to the Phila Flower Show yesterday...for the first time ever. I love flowers; I love to garden. A convention hall full of flowery displays just never floated my boat, but my sister and I took our mother for her 70th birthday...and we had a wonderful time.

    We were on our way out of the 'marketplace' section of the show when a woman complimented the (obnoxiously bright) orange jacket I was wearing. She had a beautiful head o' stubble and was wearing an "Ask Me Why I'm Bald" pin. Lucy, she reminded me so much of you. Her face, her physical features, her mannerisms, her gentle tone...all you! She lost her son after a battle with Neuroblastoma and she was at a booth to raise awareness (and money) for the fight against childhood cancers, a group called St.Baldrick's Foundation.

    I signed up as a volunteer today. To give back. To step up. To fight back for those who can't. While the St. Baldrick's site won't "allow" me to honor Calli through my efforts, every moment I spend working for the organization will be in her memory...and your honor.

    Peace. Big, big hugs.

    Sue LaBella

  4. Hi Lucy!! It was so nice to meet you a few weeks ago at Tosco's... my name is Michelle, I am Tom & Terri's niece... I have 4 children and each and every night when I tuck them in and we say our prayers, I say a prayer for you and your family... I hold my daughter a little bit longer and truly thank God for each moment we have together... Calli was and IS so beautiful, YOU are so beautiful. you put the definition of "inspire" in your post, and I want you to know that Calli has inspired me to change who i am as a parent... to really cherish each moment, the good and the not-so-good. each moment is a blessing.
    After I said hi to you at tosco's, i told my husband i was so embarrassed because you didn't even know me at all, but i feel like i know you and i want you to know that i love you!! you are my sister in Christ! :) I will continue praying for you, Mike, and Aiden each and every night... God bless xoxoxox


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