Monday, December 3, 2012

speak life


NOT TO BRAG AT ALL
but this young man
 has been through some seriously hard junk
 the last three months...
stuff we would never ever 
ever 
wish on anyone
not even our worst enemies...
but...
through all of the 
grief
sorrow
adjustments
emergencies
drama and
trauma...
This young man had the following report card:

GERMAN                                      A
ALGEBRA                                     A
LANGUAGE ARTS                          A+
SCIENCE                                        A-
SOCIAL STUDIES HONORS               B
GUIDANCE                                     A+
HEALTH                                        A+
WELLNESS                                     A+
FAMILY CONSUMER SCIENCES        A

HONOR ROLL :)

Mike and I are so proud of our son.
Please pray for Aidan
This is such a difficult time for him
Please pray for us
This is a very difficult time for us

Each day...
there are moments that steal our heartbeat 
for what seems like eternity...
and our breath stops
we gasp for air
as it hits hard again
 a slow-motion stabbing in our guts...
the reality
our reality...
Calli is not here.
She is really not here.
It is an unfathomable thing...
Calli's body died.
Calli is in Heaven.

You all have moved on....
in your own ways...
thinking of her only sometimes...
pushing back the thoughts...
getting over it.
but each day,
this is our reality.
Not only that this is real
Calli is gone from our daily life,
but also....
We don't have our Fathers, 
Aidan does not have his Grandfathers
We don't have Mike's precious Mother, Linda, 
Aidan does not have his Grandmom

Please...when you think of us....
please pray for us..
For our everyday survival...
For God's healing and peace
For walls of protection around our son

We are so thankful
for those the Lord sends to us
as just the right moments
moments of despair
and desperation
He sends them
with scriptures
memories
pictures
words of kindness
and words of humility and grace
words and songs of mercy and love
We are so thankful for those who have
encouraged us
continue to pray for us
and believe the best for our family...
in the midst of our mess

Then there are always
 those other "concerned people"
The Bible warned us....
we will be hated 
without cause
lied to
lied about
talked about
gnashed at
we will be persecuted
for righteousness sake
or they will put us before Pilot
or just for the heck of it...
because they think they know the truth
the law
righteousness....
but they are so lost themselves
trying to prove their RIGHTNESS
their goodness
their concern
by turning against us
digging their claws
and throwing dirt
on our already gaping wounds

Just as the they did to Jesus
His own Family betrayed him
so they will do to us
the Bible promises it

they say we are fake
 But Truly
this is what we really are:
open books
we are real
we are confused
we are traumatized
we are stressed
we have faults
we have sin
we don't know everything
we love God
we love our son
we need prayer
and help
and healing
We implore you....
when you think of us....
and thoughts come to you of us...
and they are not good thoughts...
but are bad....
and are evil...
and you are worrying....
if your words are full of gossip.....
if they are full of hate...
and malice....
and discord...
and division...
Take heed...
You will be accountable to God
for every single idle word you have spoken
You can bless us with your mouth 
and speak life
Or you can curse us with your mouth
and speak death

here is an awesome song
from TOBY MAC's new album
I hope you enjoy the song 
 "Speak Life"

Here are the lyrics:
Somedays life feels perfect
Other days it just ain’t workin
The good, the bad, the right, the wrong
And everything in between

Though it’s crazy, amazing
We can turn our hearts with the words we say
Mountains crumble with every syllable
Hope can live or die

So speak Life, speak Life
Through the deadest darkest night
Speak Life, Speak Life
When the sun won’t shine and you don’t know why
Look into the eyes of the brokenhearted
Watch them come alive as soon as you speak hope
You speak love, you speak...
You speak Life, You speak Life

Some days the tongue gets twisted
Other days my thoughts just fall apart
I do, I don’t, I will, I won’t
It’s like I’m drowning in the deep

Well it crazy to imagine
Words from our lips as the arms of compassion
Mountains crumble with every syllable
Hope can live or die

So speak Life, speak Life
Through the deadest darkest night
Speak Life, Speak Life
When the sun won’t shine and you don’t know why
Look into the eyes of the brokenhearted
Watch them come alive as soon as you speak hope
You speak love, you speak...
You speak Life, You speak Life

Lift your head a little higher
Spread the love like fire
Hope will fall like rain
When you speak life with the words you say

Raise your thoughts a little higher
Use your words to inspire
Trouble falls like rain
When you speak life with the things you say

Lift your head a little higher
Spread the love like fire
Hope will fall like rain
When you speak life with the words you say

So speak Life, speak Life
Through the deadest darkest night
Speak Life, Speak Life
When the sun won’t shine and you don’t know why
Look into the eyes of the brokenhearted
Watch them come alive as soon as you speak hope
You speak love, you speak...
You speak Life, You speak Life

7 comments:

  1. Congratulations to Aidan for a splendid report card. He is an excellent student.

    I do pray for you. In fact, earlier this morning I was praying from 2 Corinthians 1:3 for you--that the Father of mercies and the God of all comfort will comfort you in your affliction. I prayed that He would apply his healing ointment to your very deep wound. I'm sorry it's so hard. No one can remove that, but we trust God who sees you and who collects all of your tears.

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  2. I love that song- and how true it is :)
    I had a wonderful time today with you, visiting Calli, decorating, singing :) haha... it was precious to me.
    Aidan- he is so awesome and strong and funny too! I love him and admire his courage.
    I hope he knows (and if he doesn't, then hear me now) that he is loved by the most caring parents- devoted, hard-working, loving, understanding, human, parents that have given him and his sister the love of God, our higher power- on higher ground.

    As for those who are meean-spirited, bah humbug!! Tight-wads of affection, greedy for ANY type of attention, even if it is negative. Scrooges!
    I would ask those with harsh words for this family to reflect on the words by Michael Jackson- "I'm looking at the man in the mirror, I'm asking him to change his ways..." When was the last time any of them looked in the mirror, into their own eyes to their hearts (the size of a pea)? Probably never- avoiding the truth! :(

    The celebrity and the man, Michael Jackson knew pain. And he knew that when people (family, friends, strangers) speak harshly of others it is most likely because they can not or will not look at themselves, at their own deeds, doings, and hearts. Perhaps they are jealous of good fortune? Or even heartache?! In any case, it is so much easier for them to blame or say negative things on others rather than take stock of their own lives! Jesus said remove the log out of your own eye first, before pointing out the other guys (I'm parapharasing, but you know it).

    This season of "Joy" ~ the holiday's and everything that comes along with it, must be very hard- yet, when I look at you and Michael and Aidan - I do see HOPE. Calli called it Living Hope..."Because mom, I'm living with hope everyday" wow. Her hope of the life everlasting has been fulfilled and I can see that her hope that you would/could go on is in process... Rome wasn't built in a day <3

    A smile. A silly song. A wreath of greens hung on the fence post... these are signs of the hope that Calli also had.
    Slow but sure. Slow but steady- keep your eyes on the sparrow and don't look down. Look ahead. Look up to thine heavens.

    I love you and am proud of YOU for being the mom that took the BEST care of her little girl in the hardest of hard times!!! What joy that brought me, even in my sorrow and loss, I was proud of my niece and nephew for putting family first through it all- Calli and Aidan are blessed to have you both.

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    Replies
    1. thank you <3
      i love that michael jackson song- what a lesson there to remind me of as well.....thank you for your help today

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  3. I agree with your aunt alison- you were the best mother I have ever observed (through this blog) to your calli in the hardest of hard times. What an inspiration. Advocating on her behalf, getting fiesty with insurance people & doctors if need be, praying in the spirit, being present in the moment....always by her side. I am trying to be as good of a mom as you.
    Ashlee Landes

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  4. Lucy, you are an inspiration to me in your fight for Calli in her sickness, in your tremendous grief and how you've bared your soul (in our weakness, God is strong!) and as a fellow homeschool mom to watch you let go of Aiden and do what was best for him, in all of this you have not tried to be anyone but who God created you to be. I will continue to hold you and your family up in my prayers and humbly ask you to not change who you are...a beautiful, strong, loving, passionate wife, mother, sister, daughter, friend and daughter of the Most High God!
    Janelle R

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  5. Ur family is in my heart often, I can't imagine your pain but I hope you know you are all in a lot of prayers and hearts!

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